If my phone could talk..

If my Phone could talk

If my phone could describe me it would say, Nicholle is a klutz, who never slows down, throughout her busy days she loses me constantly, drops me way too much, and yet never goes anywhere without me. She always shows me attention and tries to take care of me. She loves to type or text way more than talk because of her shyness. Nicholle has a lot of passion behind her words as she screams when she’s mad, cries when she’s hurt and laughs wholeheartedly when truly happy. Nicholle  loves to take photos as she always tries to find the beauty in everything, leaving me full and overloaded. Her children are her weakness because not even I am sacred when it comes to them. She lets them use me all the time, causing my case to chewed up, my screen to be scratched and an overload of games being played as soon as they get their hands on me. She does save me when they start throwing punches or begin being too rough. . She uses Facebook and twitter often to keep in touch with friends and family, yet most people can’t reach her because her ringer is always off. Nicholle loves music, she would listen to it all the time if she could, and sometimes she does. I do get to play a variety of music for her as she changes her music to fit her emotions. Lately she has been playing way too many sad songs though. She loves to sing along with me but only when we’re alone or she’s singing to her babies. Overall I am happy to be Nicholle’s phone, she may not be the perfect or gentlest person but she is caring and I always know how much I mean to her and that she would absolutely lose it if she lost me.

 

Children and Divorce

Children and Divorce.

Children and Divorce

My view on the affects of divorce on children from a psychologist standpoint:

With psychology as my major I’ve learned many things about how divorce and separation affects children. Most psychologists agree that divorce or parental breakup has negative affects on children involved. Children raised with two parents in the home and have a relatively happy home life are affected negatively by divorce. Their lives are ripped apart sometimes suddenly. As the divorce or end of the relationship grows near the fighting and unhappiness that rear up are very traumatic to the kids who don’t understand what has happened to their once happy home. They want their parents to go back to the way they use to be. The way the parents split it tbe key factor though. Then there are the Kids in a home with both parents who fight constantly or a home with tension and anger amongst parents. They can also be affected negatively by a divorce but living that life day in and day out would prove to have much greater consequences. Experience is everything, everything we experience makes up who we are and who we will be as adults. What we experience as well as how we internalize and view the experience really are equally important. Seeing two parents split can be devastating for most children. How the parents deal with it is just as important as the decision to divorce. If the parents can approach things carefully and as positively as possible the outcome can be much better for the children. One parent should never talk badly of the other to the kids, the parents should not fight or argue in front of the kids, as it really only hurts the children in the end. mediation about a good schedule where the kids see both parents in stress free environments is as important as the role of each parent to be there to listen, discuss, and show as much love as possible to their children throughout this change. Any huge life change whether good or bad literally changes the structure and connections in our brains. We must parent carefully.

My view and troubles on the affects of divorce on children as a mother of three kids who’s husband has given up on the marriage:

First, let me say that the psychologist opinion above is still my true opinion and my goal is to put aside my emotions and become the mother and psychologist my kids need right now. Unfortunately the pain, confusion and betrayal I feel is constantly blurring my vision at the moment. The tears are constantly flowing and the raw emotion is so strong I’m constantly fighting to keep it in. The main reason I feel for my turmoil is the knowledge I hold about the affects of divorce as this has caused me to stay in my own unhappy marriage for way too long. I have been adamant about keeping our family together to protect my kids from the pain of a separation. Now I look back and although my husband and I have tried our best most of the time to keep our issues from our kids I see a whole mess of mistakes we’ve made, I’ve made even with all of my knowledge. Although most are minute compared to the lives of a lot of children but even just our bouts of arguing are bad for our kids.. Love and being a mother both makes us do crazy things.. My goal now Is to stop letting the pain and sadness control me, I must be strong for my kids, no more crying all day.. No more poor me thinking…here’s to my journey to become the best Divorced parent I can be!! Wish me luck. I know it’s Gunna be hell before it gets better.. I’ll update this often as I know the mountains I face are huge and well let’s face it writing about it helps!

Just me..

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I’m back!

Well I am back here to start my blog.. Life has been very hard on me recently and now I must start anew. I am going to be sharing everything I feel the need to Share so I’ll apologize now for those days where I know I will be overly emotional.. Blunt..and probably bitchy.. Lol I hope to give everyone a glimpse into my life as well as teach some valuable psychology lessons as well. Enjoy the ride!!

My twitter page

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